Thursday, 17 May 2012

More on the Saga of "The Bed"

 Those of you who read of my struggles with a heavy mattress on my new bed will be aware that it was unlikely that the muscular " mattress fairy" was going to solve my problems for me.

Having tried, unsuccessfully , to fit a divan trim since this also, like the turning of the mattress involves lifting and moving said lead weight, I sought for and found a solution.

A catalogue dropped through my letterbox at just the right time and, wonder of wonders, there was a choice of five different "easy fit" valances.

So simple did this sound, and so good to look at were they that I ordered two.

They arrived creased and crumpled beyond recognition so I thought "they'll have to wait till I change the bed, and I'll iron the one I am going to use"

It was like trying to iron the great wall of China, a great never-ending snake of pleated white cotton.

However, two short breaks and half an hour later it was ready to be fitted.

Oh dear, oh dear, why hadn't I read the instructions first.

First words "remove mattress from base"........ Aaaarh!

Well I shoved and pushed the beast about four inches away from the base and prepared the adhesive strips applying them to the base while propping the mattress against my shoulder and hanging on to the valance with my 'other' hand.

I know I must sound like the world's worst wimp, but oh to be 3 inches taller, 10 years younger and just a little less "cack-handed".  Not a nice description, but one common in Birmingham where I grew up, and oh so very apt when applied to yours truly.
This is the finished article.  It is entirely possible that when it is due to be changed again, I may do as royalty did in Tudor times, and simply move house!

Why is nothing ever as simple as 'they' make it sound?

After that, merely making the bed up, even with the battle of the duvet, was simplicity itself.

I promise never to mention the subject again!


  1. New Territories - Jade Green

    I recognise that carpet! As for the bed shots, m'lady, you inflame my ardor so I hall look me away!

  2. There is something you can take for "inflammation of the ardor/ardour. It's called distance!

  3. Well if it is any comfort to you - the valence looks great!

  4. Thanks Jane, I think so too. How well it will survive remains to be seen.

  5. It was worth all the effort, Ray. It looks super - very swish - and the bed itself looks sooo comfortable. :-)

  6. It is Perpetua. I have a few sneaking doubts about trying to clean under it but may just have to accept it may not be possible.
    Ugh, prefer not to think about what may be lurking there in time.!

  7. It does look nice. And I bet all that heaving the mattress around was as good as a workout at the gym - all round exercise for free. Who needs a set of weights when you have a mattress and valance? Look on the bright side:)

  8. I'm much too old to think of exercise in a gym or anywhere else, but I do get the odd inadvertent workout. Mostly lugging heavy shopping, or reluctantly, trying to defend my garden from invading triffids.
    Nice to know the choice of valance meets with cyber approval.Thanks.

  9. Lovely valance for your bed! I like how it covers the drawer beneath your bed. That is a drawer, right? Our bed has drawers also. It’s very handy because I can put my personal things in there, such as my wallets, to keep out of reach of our children.

    Aniyah Bautista

  10. Hi Aniyah. I must agree it does look good, almost worth the immense effort of getting it where it should be.
    Sadly all I have in the drawers under my valance is spare pillows.
    Good idea though!