Monday, 27 May 2013

Elastic Time

What is a Bank Holiday to someone who has too much time on her hands?

For once, a couple of bright sunny (if not overly warm) days, this weekend has seemed endless to me.

Sang (choir requested), at a wedding on Saturday afternoon, so that was part of Saturday taken care of.

Sunday morning Trinity Sunday, (visiting clergy of course), so that was part of Sunday taken care of.

Some household chores, some paper-work, some (not much) gardening, and still more than half of Monday to go.

Most of my neighbours are away, or sunbathing out of the wind in the unusual gift of a third sunny day, and me, I'm bored.

I know I could probably tidy my scruffy self up and get a bus, (if there are any), into town and shop.  No thanks.

I could get properly scarecrow-clad and have a serious go at the garden - thinks - no thanks.

I could go and watch another load of sport-laden TV NO NO thanks.  (though I will watch the cricket for an hour this evening).

When and why did my world shrink?

How did I let myself get so totally alone?

What am I to do about it?

Don't know.

Not unhappy.   Not really lonely.  Not even very concerned.

Just bored.

Time never used to go so very slowly, was never this elastic when I had too little of it, but now it is endless.

There is real time.  There is British Summer Time, and there is Ray Time.


  1. Like you Bank Holidays don't mean much to Ian and I, although today's marks our local annual charities fair. We usually attend because there are good bargains for the garden and good bargains for books too. There is the bonus of meeting friends, both longstanding and newer acquaintances.

    One of the books we had hoped to find was In cold blood by Truman Capote for it is the next title for the reading group to which I belong. There has been a delay in the library getting the work for us.

    I was asked if I would like to join this daytime group many years ago at an Ecumenical Lent course, most of the ladies are Roman Catholics, I am the only Anglican, we are a very wide spectrum of ages, backgrounds and interests. We take it in turns to have the meeting at each others homes, not compulsory to offer hospitality, also meet at a pub or restaurant twice a year.

    May I suggest that you enquire at your local library to see if there are reading groups with a vacancy, then you will have to find time to read the book and fit in meeting to discuss it. Quite often we find some dislike the book so much they give up, that is fine, others are short of time to read although we meet about every 5 weeks, avoiding school holidays for the younger readers.

    We have become friends, we receive invites to significant birthday parties so meet other people to form friendships. I joined because a friend teased me that I was the worst read librarian she had ever met, true regarding fiction as my career was virtually all spent outside public libraries. I have gained so much, perhaps I should write a blog about it, maybe more interesting than my knitting.

    Not all library authorities have the same way of running groups, but I would say try to go for a mixed age group.

    Hope this will help, perhaps other bloggers will have other ideas .....

    1. Thanks PixieMum. I have tried a couple of groups in my local library, one a basic computer one and the other a quiz group.
      I have been a member of a library for 70 years and read voraciously, but nowadays only last thing at night.
      If I could find a group locally I would prefer it to be something less static than reading.

  2. It can be hard to find enough to occupy the time when you are alone/ single. My life is so very busy with teenagers around and work that I have the opposite problem of how to find a moment sometimes.I much prefer it that way and know that I would find solitude much harder.I used to find it hard when the children were small and Kevin was away for a week on business. I had plenty to do but sometimes didn't speak properly to an adult all day. I used to dance around the kitchen to music on the radio (with a glass of wine!) in the evenings while I was washing up and doing the lunchboxes after putting them to bed. Finding things to do, such as groups and activities, is probably the way forward. It takes effort though and sometimes means heading out on an evening when you would rather stay in (etc, etc) Hang in there, we all have bad days but then better days and good days also come.

    1. I have been trying to find something which involved a large divers number of people for years, long before John's death in fact, and have never really discovered anything which would cater for Bank Holidays. They are the worst really, for someone with no close friends.
      We both were members of a U3A but I had to give that up when John became ill because there was no way of getting to the various group activities.

  3. On moving to Whangarei where we knew very few people I used to hate weekends and Public Holidays - when my hubby went into care it was even worse. My life has turned around since I met the new man in my life - just having someone to share things with (walks, chatting, meals) makes all the difference.

    I know we are lucky - neither of us was looking for someone else.

    I don't know what to suggest - just hope that the God/Angel? that helped me can help you.

  4. Thanks for the good wishes Susan. I'm glad you managed to find someone to spend time with.
    Sadly I am just too old for any such probability.
    As I don't drive I am restricted to the local area and that really doesn't help.
    No doubt this moaning mood will pass and I'll be able to appreciate the few social activities I do have.
    My particular Angel appears to be on strike.

    1. I don't know how old you are but you are never too old. I am 70 this year - my new man is 78 this year and my hubby is 83. Quite a triangle!!!

  5. I'm 78 Susan, but that is not the main issue. The only single people I meet are much older and usually in poor health, and though I am ancient I am active and quick-moving and thinking.
    The females in the Church are usually part of an existing social circle and also drivers which gives them an extra freedom, Sadly, I really do think it's too late.

    1. Perhaps it will be another active lady you will meet for companionship and outings. I know I had no thought of meeting anyone and it was my hairdresser who introduced me to the new man in my life. Luckily he is still active and quick-moving & thinking in spite of (or perhaps helped by) a quadruple by-pass in August.

      We have just taken my husband out for the second time something I was unable to do on my own.

      Like you I had never expected to meet someone who shared the same interests - mainly walking, gardening and doing "Code Cracker".

  6. Ray, if you ever fancy a trip to London I would be happy to meet up and keep you company. You are welcome to stay with me too.

    1. Thanks Jane will give it some serious thought.

  7. Ray, I so wish I lived nearer to you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Praying you have a better week x

    1. Jane, please don't be overly concerned, you should know by now that I over-react when in sombre mood.
      Today was hectic (the morning at St. M's anyway) and only the weather was awful so better all round.

  8. I'm another who doesn't notice Bank Holidays much unless, like this time, they bring family visitors with them. Sad though it may sound, if I'm short of anything to do when DH is busy with his own activities and find time hanging heavy, I can always find something to occupy me online - blogs, subject interests, or just following a train of thought and the links it throws up. Or I watch a favourite DVD (no use relying on what the TV channels choose to offer up on Bank Holidays). Of course there are always books, though I'm not a book club kind of person as I hate being told what to read. :-)

    I realise of course that being still part of a couple means that my situation is very different from yours, but my mother-in-law, who was widowed in her late fifties, provided a great role model on getting involved with outside activities , as you have with the church and your choir. I don't think times such as Bank Holidays are easy for her either, as people usually prefer to be with immediate family and we are all a long way away, but she always comforts herself with the thought that tomorrow they will be over and the world will resume its normal activities.

    1. Absolutely Perpetua. It is just Bank Holidays and some weekends really.
      Just feeling sorry for myself, not a thing to encourage.
      Like you I am not a book-club type either, and I do read, but only at night.
      I'm finding the blogs a bit static at present, but they will no doubt pick up again soon.
      Perhaps inspiration will strike and I'll find something new to get involved with. Here's hoping.

  9. Ray. Just ignore the Bank holidays....I treat them as normal Mondays!
    I am sorry you are feeling lonely but it really is never too lovely David is 86 now....I am almost 76. Almost! I do keep busy but only doing what is asked of me.....I don't go looking for it but I am never bored and with your active mind I doubt if you would be for long! There's so much left to do in this world....and plenty of time to do it is a God send!

  10. But Jean, the point is that I am normally working in the Parish office on Mondays and on Bank Holidays THE CHURCH IS CLOSED!!!!
    Wah! That feels better.
    I know you are right of course, it's just convincing my brain that it is so.

  11. Oooops a closed church is not something I can contemplate!...Closed? I forget your in the home counties where they do such things! sorry!

  12. I only read last thing at night now too...I find that books put me right to sleep...which is a good thing...since Don died I have a tendency to not go to sleep quickly and waking up all through the night!

  13. Yup, recognise that one Theanne.
    Reading does help the initial wind down, if of course the book is not too exciting. Even then, of course a sleep may last only an hour or so.
    I've written a whole series of insomniac blogs, most of them around 3.00 am.