Wednesday, 22 February 2012

And then there was One

A few years ago (well, rather more than a  few, but time gallops as we grow older), my three brothers and I, all married and all with spouses (spice?). in various states of age and health, had little thought for the time when one or some of us might no longer be around.

Intimations of mortality abound and yet for some reason, we all assume we are immune from the inevitable, and seem to feel it will always be someone else's turn not ours.

True, every human being at some time or another will experience illness or accident severe enough to give us pause and yet there is still this assumption that we are exempt from the rule which affects the rest.

My middle brother lost his wife to cancer back in 1993 - one down, 7 to go.

For a long time after that we retained our 'immunity' and nothing seemed too threatening,  Then my husband died - two down, 6 to go.

That was two and a half years ago, and yesterday my eldest brother's wife died - three down, five to go.

Suddenly it seems we are losing our immunity, death's winged chariot and all that.

True my brother's wife had been far from well for a great number of years, but that too,becomes 'the norm' after a while, and somehow one loses sight of the usual end to a downward spiralling life.

While it is true to say we all expected this latest outcome it still has the power to stop you in your tracks and force you to reflect on the brutality of the end of life.

For those fortunate enough to have a strong faith there is always hope that this is not the end but just the journey taking a different route.  For me, still struggling with my faith, the jury is still out.

May she rest in peace and rise in glory.


  1. While death is not high on my priority list of things to do...I want to be with Don bad enough that death is just a little hiccup along that route. As far as I know my sister is still alive, we don't communicate, well except for cards at Christmas and birthdays. The people in my life that I've loved the most are dead, my grandmother, my father and Don! I miss each of them everyday! I know it's my turn next on the escalator of life...I rarely think about it!

  2. So sorry to hear about your sister-in-law, Ray. Even death as a release from suffering and decline is hard to come to terms with. Though all 5 of us sisters are still alive, I'm aware of the fact that we are now the senior generation in our family and sooner or later the first gap in the ranks will come.

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  4. Ray, I'm sorry for your loss. Loss is still loss, deserving of grief.

  5. My condolences on your loss. Even when it is expected, the death of someone close always comes as a shock. It does stop you in your tracks and every new loss rekindles the grief of other losses.

  6. Thankyou all for your comments.

    Much appreciated.