This horrible old fright is me. Hard to believe I know, but sadly, true.
Since this has been, like all my recent Christmases, horribly lonely, accompanied by heavy cold this time, flu last year, and since the last time I actually heard a live human voice was Christmas Day morning (the taxi-driver who brought me home from the service) I am greatly looking forward to 2012.
Every year I tell myself, next year will be better, and next year i will have found something to do at Christmas.
Each year that looks less likely, but I am reliably informed, you only have to pray hard enough and believe strongly enough and it will happen.
Hmmmm!
Unable courtesy of high temperature, running nose, sore throat and constant sneezing etc. to venture outside apart from feeding the birds, I had to resort to television.
My red eyes and sore swollen lids, are more to do with the latter than with the cold bug.
I have watched and absorbed "Tosca", the ballet "Alice in Wonderland", several episodes of "Mastermind" (the celebrity version - if that is not an Oxymoron), and almost, it seems, the entire panoply of Charles Dickens greatest Hits.
I have also seen, as previously mentioned Narnia, Merlin and today, unbelievably, The Cat in the Hat, finally reaching rock bottom with "Pollyanna".
Now I wouldn't want you to think I was ungrateful, I am, but I wouldn't want you to think it, but there must be some other punishment I could opt for, even in my bug-weakened state, as payment for my exceptionally sinful life.
Don't say read - my eyes are too sore, or clean the house - too lazy, or write letters - both the former reasons.
My throat is too sore to scream, and my hands are too sweaty to type much longer so if anyone has a suggestion sensible or otherwise I would be glad to consider it on its merits, (before rejecting it as unworkable).
Roll on 2012 it can only get worse!