Story

 I don’t know whether this will still work but thought I’d have a go

Just in case anyone happens on this message

Hello

I am still (loosely) attached to this site am still occasionally singing in St M’s choir and getting older by the second.

It is a full time job keeping my one remaining brain cell ticking so have difficulty finding my “inner author” but when has that ever stopped me.

The lack of digital skills is increasing as technology advances and my arthritic fingers have a life of their own.

All in all not exactly a celebration of my 89 years, more a confirmation that despite appearances I am still alive  

Still Here

As usual sleepless and bored I find a use for what is left of my brain by semaphoring anyone else who may be sharing the night hours with me.

It strikes me as odd that there is no pattern to insomnia (mine anyway), and no apparent cause.

Neither being overly busy, or particularly idle the previous day seems to have a bearing on spending the night wide-eyed or blissfully unconscious. 

Too old to care much about my baggy-eyed appearance after a sleepless night I am still aware that my brain functions on a single cylinder and at about half its normal speed the following day, which is not a desirable state for someone who still likes to appear to be in possession of some of their faculties.

Watching night-time TV is not for the faint hearted, and is either over stimulating, or excrutiatingly dull .

I have abandoned my book (Richard Osman's excellent "The man who died twice"), because I want to make it last rather than read it all in one go.

Talking to myself , while not unusual, is unrewarding  at this timeof night/morning so silence reigns.

I am not, after all these years, seeking a non-existent cure for sleeplessness, just an idea of some other way of filling the long boring silent hours when all good folk should be abed.

Things that go bang in the night

The image above is a pretty accurate one of my current life.

Never one to dwell too long on uncomfortable news daily happenings local or worldwide, or even knowingly to pay much attention to other peoples' heated arguments unless directly involving my own life, I am finding everyday life increasingly difficult.

The world I knew appears to be vanishing, drowning in a sea of problems which it is impossible to ignore.

If I  believed I could do anything to change things for the better, to offer a solution or a personal contribution which would ease the tide of damage harm and destruction which is assailing the entire planet I would gladly make whatever sacrifice was necessary, but at the moment nothing I can think of would make the slightest difference,

Of course I can and do pray and  sign petitions and make financial contributions where appropriate but what are such activities worth I cannot help but ask?

The fact that I am now a very old woman with Parkinson's disease and a variety of other 'blessings' to add to the equation means that I find that one thing I can do with no effort whatever, is fall asleep at the drop of a hat, usually when watching something on TV which I have been looking forward to. 

The same, however, cannot be said when I go to bed. 

There, sleep as it always has, evades my every effort and much of the night is spent on the computer or watching even more awful TV.

When I eventually go back to bed I can guarantee that within a few minutes of finally dropping off to sleep something, some noise, sound or outside activity will have me jumping out of bed looking out of  the window to see what form of nocturnal entertainment is being provided this time.

Tonight to my utter amazement, a man in a Hi vis jacket was walking round the Close with a metal rod in his hand, lifting the metal covers on the water pipe thingies.  Every single one was lifted, peered into dropped back with a clang and off he marched,

This was at 12.45 am

What next I wonder?

I can hardly contain my excitement!
 

How to tell the difference between day and night

Well obviously it must be night time because I have to put the lights on to type this.  

No, that's not right, it has b een so dark most  of the day that I had the lights on most of the time.

Maybe it can only be night because the television is silent (for once)

No, sometimes I have to sit and watch whatever is onbecause I can't sleep.

Why is there no distant sound of traffic.

Why is there no bird song

Oh a clue, I am wearing my nightdress.

But I'm not in bed.

Now I know it is night because in the corner of my computer it says 1.43 am.

I know I am old (87 last week) but I can still tell the time.

Returning to the Arena

 I have no idea whether this will work but am attempting to re-enter the world of Blog. 

Last July I decided that since my life was on hold until pandemic rules were dropped I would not bore anyone with more blogs about nothing at all. 

From October when i had made up my mind to go back to church/choir nothing but problems filled my daily life. First several weeks of agonising sciatica, followed by a large cyst on my back which I could neither see nor reach, entailing trips to the surgery 3times a week for cleaning packing of the wound and dressing etc,  Great fun!

A chill causing stomach problems and a series of nose-bleeds, sudden and heavy.  All these and a breakdown of my gas central heating pump. followed by a leak through the ceiling and down the central light fitting in the small bedroom (on Christmas Eve) have filled my every waking moment with the expectation of a plague of locusts any day now.  Other than that, life has been boring for the past 2 years and I didn't feel inclined to share my gloom with all and sundry.  

Were it 

WHO DAT?

 

Talking to my friend and next-door neighbour a couple of days ago I told her I was having problems with my mobile phone.

She offered to get her 21 year old daughter to have a look at it for me.

Having done so she (the daughter) explained that I needed a new Sim and that she waould get it sorted for me.

Since it is only a very basic phone and I only use it for calling emergency taxis if needed I agreed to get it up-dated.  She kindly did this for me but it is now no longer a Vodaphone but has a much simpler and easier to renew Tesco Sim.

Having put a new number on it (irrelevant since I never leave it switched on) it is now ready for use.

At midnight that night I was startled out of a deep early sleep by a loud ring-tone and still half asleep staggered into the next room to find my phone illuminating the whole room and making enough  noise to wake the whole County.

I must have left it switched on so immediately turned it off and went back to bed.

The next  night (tonight), exactly the same thing happened again.  This time I put a light on to make sure I turned it off properly.

Unable to go back to sleep and now a bit nervous as to why or even how a phone which is turned off can turn itself back on, and also why midnight is its chosen time to do so, I wonder if anyhone can throw anhy light on my mystery?

If it happens toorrow night I might just decide to answer it.  Or maybe not, what do you think? 

Freedom is in view at last

 Yesterday I had my 2nd jab of the Pfizer vaccine and at last the gates into the world outside are opening. 

Getting into a taxi there and back felt very strange after all  this time but the sense of things beginning to be possible again is real and positive.

Since March 18th 2020 I haven't set foot in the town or on public transport so the anticipation of doing so in the next few days or weeks seems like a dream.

Early in the pandemic I couldn't wait for life to return to  normal but now it feels very adventurous even to consider a first tentative foot in that direction.

I hope this doesn't mean I've lost my nerve for all time and become a timid old lady, but the next couple of weeks will prove it, one way or the other.

It is lovely to feel a sense of hope and that there is something to look forward to again it's just a question of gathering up my nerve and making the first move. 

At present I feel very lucky not to have had a close encounter with the virus and to be among those who have been vaccinated against it. 

My thoughts and prayers are with all those around the world who have not been so fortunate.