Wednesday, 2 March 2011

Gadgets Gadgets Gadgets

There will be howls of protest from all the clever, nimble fingered (and brained) women for whom G...... hold no terror, but I maintain that love of the afore-mentioned is a man thing.

Have I mentioned that I am a total technophobe? funny, I felt sure I had.  Well, the inability to absorb new techniques is as nothing compared with my absolute fear, dread and loathing of G.......

Give me a garden in any state of repair, condition or neglect and in the right mood and on the right day I can transform it into a thing of beauty.  Give me a well-written song and I will make a reasonable stab at doing it vocal justice; some nuts, aubergines tomatoes and garlic and i will produce a meal that even a non-vegetarian will enjoy but, anything with instructions, buttons, knobs, wires and a need for batteries and I will produce nothing but a scream of rage.

Women (I maintain), are 'wired' differently from men.  They will often use logic to attempt to outwit the sanscrit instructions on the boxes in which the 'beasts' are hidden.  Sometimes they even manage to operate the weird instruments which are said to have been designed to make life easier!

My late husband, not really all that handy, was nevertheless a gadget man.  He always "needed" the most recent bit of technology, paid an inordinate amount for it, and then spent a week reading the instructions.
After which, he would put the 'bits' together, and hey presto it would work.  I would then say, "O K, now you can show me how it works".  He would sigh heavily and explain the necessary, and to his chagrin I would in 30 seconds be able to operate the gadget  he had taken  a week to learn. 

Strictly - monkey see, monkey do - I don't need long explanations, just someone to do all the  hard work!

Last week, a friend took me to Oxford, where we bought some music in Blackwells, then went to Boswells where she told me "they have just the gadget you need, a button-operated jar opener".  As I have arthritis in my thumbs and therefore very little grip, large jars in my house remain unopened for ever, so, gadget or not I agreed.  Bought said item, complete with batteries and took it home.

Next day, nervously read instructions, thought, hmm not too bad, looks pretty easy really.  Managed successfully to remove cap of battery chamber but was totally unable to put the batteries in and close the cap.

Today, one week later, a neighbour called in and succeeded in replacing the cap and watched me while I tried it out on a huge jar of pickled gherkins which has been in my cupboard for 18 months.
Voila! Now open.  What i'm going to do with a massive jar of gherkins remains to be seen, but I now have the means of opening virtually anything.
Simple when you know how isn't it?


  1. hahah I'm getting braver with gadgets and will have ago at most things.. although, naturally, would leave this to hubby to sort out but as he's out most of the time curosity gets the better of me and I have to have ago myself...

  2. I laughed at your being unable to get the batteries fitted - sorry! It's just that I have the same trouble with almost all battery-operated gizmos. Can't think what you can do with the gherkins except enjoy them slowly.

  3. Judy. Will you please bottle some of your courage and send it to me. Gadgets and fear just don't mix well.

    Freda. Glad I made you laugh and as to what to do with the gherkins, I suspect most of them will end up in the compost heap.
    Thanks for your comments both of you.

  4. Further to my last comment on aforesaid gherkins, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Getting the jar out of the fridge I dropped it, spilt half the liquid and most of the gherkins (now residing on the compost heap) and spent 10 minutes trying to clean up the kitchen floor.
    It seems the answer to the problem was not how to open the jar, but rather, not to buy it in the first place.
    Ah me, some of us have to learn everything the hard way!