Friday, 27 February 2015
Had John still been here we would, as usual, have had a long debate about whether we 'needed' to celebrate it by going our for a meal or something similar.
Not one of the world's great romantics, John would have quite happily forgotten all about it, along with every other anniversary had I not been a part of the occasion.
In the 38 (and a half) years we were married I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he spontaneously bought me flowers or gave me a card. Yet I made a big thing of every one as a way of balancing my past life.
From a family which - just about - managed to celebrate birthdays and made nothing whatever of other events I grew up neither expecting nor wanting lots of 'jollies'. This changed when I got into my early twenties when for some reason the dormant romantic in my soul began to emerge,
A series of boy-friends who did the meal and flowers thing made me realise my own approach which bordered on indifference, was not the normal one.
Even today when my lovely neighbours are nagging me to say what I would like to do on my birthday in a couple of weeks, I would much rather do nothing at all and let the inevitable happen with no input from me.
In my mid-twenties I began to take flowers to my mother and give them a card to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Later John and I would take them out for a drink or a meal if we were in the same area of their 'day'.
Both parents were at first slightly bemused, then gradually became more accepting of our 'strange' ways.
Despite thinking their anniversary worth celebrating somehow John never quite caught on to the idea that ours might be worth a raised glass too.
When I read about the wildly extravagant manner in which some, usually young, couples mark the fact that they have been married for 3, 4 or even 5 years, I can't help wondering where we went wrong.
When is an anniversary not an anniversary? When one half of the couple has 'bowed out' of the dance.Happy Anniversary John.
Posted by Ray Barnes at 12:35:00 pm