Thursday, 28 February 2013

The Mangling of the English Language (revisited)

Chores day.   Not my favourite, but having done about half of the things on my list plus a three quarters of an hour stint in the garden, I thought it only fair I give myself  a small reward for my efforts.

Anyone who has read my only too often posted views on the subject will know where I am going next.

Yes, coffee and TV.  Default programme of course, the jewellery channel.

If there is one single reader of this blog who has missed it (which I doubt), I will reiterate that I love jewellery.  Not all jewellery, just the really good stuff.

Precious stones are, next to flowers, my most favouritist istist thing in all the world.

Really top quality stones have me immobilised, dumbstruck, and almost salivating.

Then there is the mode of presentation  -  a wholly different matter.

The channel I favour because of the superb range and quality of their jewellery, is also the cause of near apoplexy every time I view it.

The reason is simple.  The presenters (with just one exception) all refer to the goods they are advertising as "joolery".  One of them, an expert on the product, invariably talks about what they have 'bought' to us today.

Another uses words which exist in no dictionary in the world to describe the particular piece she is promoting, an example being 'illuminosity' and 'examplery'.

After about a half an hour of this exquisite torture I can no longer bear the verbal slaughter and have to turn the wretched thing off.

I did buy something a while ago from this company, and while it is very pretty, I simply could not put myself through the process again because it would entail listening to a nearly incomprehensible description of the item.

I know I am being pedantic, a nit-picker, an armchair critic, but why oh why does this company not give a few basic English lessons to their presenters along with their other training?

It could be that my age is producing this super-critical attitude, or maybe my tolerance levels have crashed.

Since another birthday is imminent I had better watch my step, nit-picking being the prerogative of the old.

Beam me up Scotty!


  1. Joolery-Foolery, but hey, you only 'sparkle' once! Have fun and use the mute button whenever possible!

  2. In this era of text crazy communications, people make up words or ruin English with something I can only describe as blather. For instance, a sentence that ought to read: "Hi. I'm planning to visit you later today, so let me know when you're going to be home." reads: "Cmng to c u. When r u home?"

    I'm thinking joolery looks mighty fine in a comparative sense :)


  3. Good advice Broad. Never thought of that.

  4. Kathleen. Please don't spoil a perfectly good rant with irrelevancies.
    I know there is even worse English 'out there', just saving it for another time.

  5. Broad beat me to the suggestion of the mute button, Ray. I often use it in the commercial breaks and we have fun trying to guess what's actually been advertised. :-)

  6. There is just one snag with that Perpetua, I would have nothing left to complain about.

  7. Love the idea of turning down the sound & trying to guess the product being advertised!
    I have taken to shouting at the radio here lately, they are starting to miss out words......I will save examples for your next rant :-)

  8. Fear not Shona. There'll be another one along soon.
    I do talk back to the language manglers, only an hour ago I was heard to yell "you can't say "one of the only" it is either the only one or one of a few, you idiot".
    Pedantic, me?