Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean it's not true.
On Monday night 'the girls' took me out to celebrate my big birthday. When the eight of us arrived in two taxis at the restaurant they persuaded me to enter first.
Aware they were about to spring a surprise of some sort I entered slightly warily, The corner table was set for 8 with a string of 6 helium balloons in the centre and one larger one with "Happy 80th Birthday " was tied to the back of 'my' chair.
Little glittering sparkling tinsely bits were strewn over the table top and there was a little box with a small cuddly bear in front of my chair.
To cut a long story short it was a wonderful evening. Lovely food, good wine, lots of happy chat and quite a volume of noise.
Luckily being Monday, it was a quiet night for the restaurant and we had the place pretty much to ourselves.
During the evening more little gifts manifested themselves and at exactly the time of my birth 80 years earlier a cake with a sparkling 80 on top was brought in with the waiter joining in singing the inevitable Happy Birthday .
Three hours later as we gathered up bits and pieces to leave they insisted I was to take the balloons home. Six smaller ones went in the 'other' taxi, and they had tied 'Mummy' balloon to my wrist so I wouldn't leave her behind.
They all came back to my house for a brief final tot of Tokaij (a bottle I had been keeping for years) and I had a box of chocolates ready as a final mouthful.
They had stood the balloons on their heavy base in one place and I set the big one just behind them.
After they had gone I tidied up washing glasses etc., gave a look round said 'goodnight' to the balloons and went to bed.
Next morning as I left for St Mary's they were all standing just as they had been so with a muttered 'bye', off I went.
Returning at lunchtime to my surprise 'Mummy' was standing in her place but the other six were all sitting on the floor in front of the TV.
I have no idea what they had been watching but I ignored them all and went to get lunch ready.
As usual I brought in my tray, sat in my chair, feet on footstool and switched on the TV just in time for the last bit of "Loose Women".
One of the six balloons raised its head about a foot (affected I suppose by the heat from the TV) and effectively blocked my view.
Tutting I found myself saying "you can't sit there I can't see through you", and I picked up all six of them and dumped them on the sofa out of the way.
Since then they haven't moved (at least, not while I was there), and (Mummy) is still where she was.
The only change is that the six are a little smaller.
Nobody warned me that balloons have personalities.
PS I have put some pictures of them onto my computer but couldn't manage to up;load them for this blog.