Thursday, 3 May 2012
Anno Domini and the Muhammed Ali Effect.
If anyone else out there has had a similar experience I would appreciate their wisdom on this most boring and routine of jobs.
First of all, I have never in all my life owned a double bed. Years of twin beds made the stripping and changing procedure seem a doddle.
Oh what a different story trying to fight a massive 4'6" duvet and cover into submission. I am 5'5"" and quite strong and athletic (well, that's what I thought anyway), but after the battle with this great tent I feel about 2 feet tall.
Worse, much worse, was the attempt very quickly abandoned, to turn my mattress. The instructions which came with it ordered me to turn it about once a fortnight for the first year, and once a month thereinafter.
Ha! guess who's mattress will never be turned - no, not even once.
It weighs a ton, is about 12 inches deep and, since they didn't include a spare set of muscles with it, will stay exactly as it is until it, or I leave home.
Then there was a brief lull in the rain and I thought, "fresh air" and headed for a patch of cleaver which is about 4 feet high and is slowly strangling what is left of my garden.
Once out there, it became obvious that my puny efforts would make so little impression on the jungle, that it was hardly worth trying. Nevertheless, I tugged and yanked at several feet of this awful clinging - and for me- allergy triggering monster and found that even in heavy-duty gauntlets my hands were getting hot and sweaty and beginning to itch. So I abandoned that for the time being and headed for some nettles.
The gloves are a useful barrier for these and I now have a large pile on the stone paving awaiting bagging up, but since it is now pouring again I have left that for the next job.
This is vacuuming the whole house, and guess what. the vac needs emptying.
I already feel as though I've done ten rounds with Muhammed Ali and I am after all, an old lady.
Posted by Ray Barnes at 11:13:00 am