Tuesday, 3 January 2017
Starting my new working year with my usual elegance and grace
Following normal procedure I went downstairs in my nightie dressing gown and slippers, set out the breakfast stuff, put the water heater and the kettle on and opened the back door.
An icy blast greeted me (temperature -5 degrees) and it was pitch black.
Stepping out onto the outside doormat my foot slid on ice and I fell on my back with my knees twisted and one foot under me.
My naked legs were out in the icy cold my upper body on the kitchen floor, such an elegant pose.
I yelled blue murder - fortunately far too early for anyone else to be up and knew that I had hurt my right foot but also that it was not broken. (I have injured myself often enough to know when something is broken) and tried to get up.
This at my age is no longer a simple matter. Rolling over onto my knees I clung to the nearest bit of 'white goods', the tumble-dryer, and hauled myself upright.
Shaking and uttering gentile expressions like "Oh my, what a silly thing to do" or something similar I went back inside made my tea and then stepped outside again, headed for the shed and put out bird-seed etc.
Realising that I was going to have a very big bruise and a lump on my ankle I then had a long hot shower.
Before leaving for St Mary's (I was on SPACE duty ) I realised that sometimes one actually needs to take a look around before taking an action, or even try to notice the thick frost on the ground, or even to remember that yes I was once 18 but that was 63 years ago.
January is clearly off to its usual 'flying' start.
Does anyone know the phone number of a good patient angel, or even a body guard?
Posted by Ray Barnes at 10:36:00 pm