Monday, 5 October 2015

Missing my Mum and Dad



This picture was taken by John about 1975 and shows rather well my relationship with my parents.  Close, but not touchy feely.

For the past few months I have been feeling a bit tired and run down and a little low in spirits.

Additionally I have developed a tremor in my right hand/arm.

A few months ago I took myself to see the GP who asked a few questions, tried a few tests and found that I had an accelerated heartbeat plus high blood-pressure.  He gave me some tablets and slowly the blood-pressure returned to an acceptable level so the original problem was the only thing which needed to be addressed.

To cut a long story short some kind friends from church took me and brought me back from the hospital some 17 miles away, since I do not drive and the only bus runs every two hours.

That was this morning.

I saw one doctor who examined me closely and talked me through most of my life's health history.  He said he was uncertain and would I mind being seen by another doctor.

Another set of trials and questions and he too said "I think we need Mr............ who arrived a minute or two later.

"Yes" he said, "I can see why you are difficult to diagnose but, you have two problems:
1  You have an Essential tremor, and
2  You have Parkinson's disease"

He explained at some length what the first one meant - not much to worry about.  The second one is
of course the last thing I wanted to hear, although he told me it is very early on and the tablets he prescribed would ease the tremor and lift my spirits.

Seeing that he had winded me he said "Don't worry, you could be no worse than this in ten years time"

If I sound less than cheerful please forgive me, but this has knocked me off my perch and at present I don't quite know how to adjust my emotional barometer.

My GP seemed so sure it was not Parkinson's that  i had mentally dismissed it.

Please don't see this as a plea for sympathy, it really isn't.  It's just that my habit of blogging my angst as well as my joys has never seemed more necessary.

Missing my Mum.



15 comments:

  1. Oh Ray I am so sorry! I feel bad knowing that this morning I blogged my relief at having my health problem resolved whilst you were having such an unnerving time!
    I have had several friends with Parkinson's......they have all lived good lives with it..... In the absence of you parents please feel,free to lean n me. And know that I mean that......you have my email address. Use it if it will help! Sending lots of love......

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    1. Thanks Jean, I'm still a little shell-shocked by the diagnosis, but in a way at least glad I know the reason for the symptoms at last.
      At present I am waiting to see the local Parkinson's nurse and will then have a better idea of what I am looking at.

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  2. What horrid shocking news to hear Ray! Please don't worry about blogging your angst, as on line friends I want to hear what is going on in your life, good and bad. Much love and hugs (I'm not touchy feely but like virtual hugs) xxxxxxx

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    1. Thanks for the cyber hugs Jane, and i intend to continue with the saga as and when there is anything to tell.

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  3. Dear Dear Ray, I am here in North Yorkshire thinking of you and wanting to make you a cup of tea and sit with you a while. I am crying for the first time since my mother died 4 weeks ago, Ive not been able to , but now Im crying for you, with you , and for myself and my Mother . When you have got thro this first stage , you will become grounded as you realise that you will have help temporal and Spiritual .I'm going to throw something I think, then will read Psalm 139. Standing with you .XX

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  4. Thank you so much for this Margaret, but really there is no need to cry for me, I haven't, and don't intend to.
    For me the way to tackle this is the same as the way I tackled losing John, simply to go on just as before as long as I can and lean occasionally on friends, neighbours and cyber friends.
    We are lucky indeed if we get through life without a few jaw-sagging moments, and this is just one of these. X

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  5. I pop in and out of your posts Ray, and to be honest, have been poor at keeping up with what everyone has been up to recently. I am so sorry for your news, and understand how hard it must have been to hear. I also understand exactly about missing mum. As I have found myself reassuring my daughter recently, over a health issue....I have thought how wonderful it would have been to have had my mum there for me, when health matters loom large. Your family photo is lovely, I hope thinking about your mother has helped rather than hindered getting your head around your diagnosis....hold onto those positives....early stages, 10 years may see little change, and know you have good friends around you. Fondest wishes J.

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  6. Thankyou Janice. Things are settling down to normal (or what passes for normal in my skewed world), and now I intend to put it firmly out of my mind and just go on as usual.
    I might be one of the lucky ones who don't get much worse for years and if not, then I'll worry about that when I have to.

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  7. I have been out of the blogosphere for the summer - (having a sort of sabbatical) and am so sorry to start my catch up to hear of your bad news. You are being very brave, but it must have been a terrible shock. I hope you are able to share your diagnosis with others, so that you can commiserate on the bad days. In any case, there is a kind of support for you here online. Every Blessing, Ray from Freda at Dalamory (www.freda.org.uk)

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  8. I had noticed your absence and missed you Freda. Thanks for the good wishes but at present I intend to go on as though nothing new had happened and hope I can get away with it for a long time:-)

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  9. Ray, I am so sorry. I haven't been blogging for a little while and that's the reason for not being in touch. Your diagnosis must be quite a worry to wear. I really pray that it will not get worse. God bless.

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    1. Thanks for the concern Jane. I was obviously a bit thrown at first but am now doing my best to ignore the whole thing (while of course taking my medication).
      Prayers appreciated.

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  10. Hi Ray - I, too, have been on a blogging sabbatical, and what do I come back to but your news. I am sure you will deal with it all well - you are such a trooper. But thanks for letting us know. You will be in my prayers.

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  11. Thanks Penny, and welcome back. I hope all is well with you.

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    1. I've had a pretty intense several months and find myself in need of some life restructuring. I'm not there yet, but I've got a lot of support, which is awesome. So many things have changed over the last few years, the transition has been so long ... but this is all good and normal. Thanks for asking. :-)

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