Sunday, 14 September 2014

Pride goeth before a fall

This week on Wednesday we welcome our new incumbent at St Mary's.

Looking at my less than sparkling surplice and stock I took them home to give them the rare treat of a bleach, wash and iron in honour of this event.

Getting into the taxi this morning, plastic covered 'whites' carefully placed on the seat I thought.  "Lovely, the white will blind everyone".

Scrambling awkwardly out of the taxi the hanger shed its load which slithered out of the plastic into a most fetching heap in the road.

Mildly annoyed I gathered it up and was pleased to find no marks on it, proceeded to robe and get myself ready to process with the rest of the choir at 10.00 am.

Aware that I had the honour of the first reading I paid less than usual attention to my progress clutching black folder and hymn books and got down to the front of the aisle.  The hand microphone slipped off its perch and full of bravado I made a grab for it, missed slipped and wound up on my back in the middle of the aisle.

Half a dozen concerned faces surrounded me as I lay like a stag beetle on my back unable to get up, this was instantly followed by dozens of hands hauling me to my feet.

Shaken and shaking I stumbled to my place in the choir stalls and proceeded to shed papers in all directions.  Singing along with the choir hands shaking, face red and all dignity lost for ever I reflected that really it had been a waste of time laundering my robes  since i was clearly destined to destroy all my good work.

A lesson there for me I think.

By the way, I'm told the reading was fine.


  1. Oh Ray! I am sorry but I did have a little giggle there. You described the scene far to well! I hope you and your dignity are recovered xxxxx

  2. I am perfectly recovered thank you, but my dignity has suffered a severe blow, not least because people have started asking me what I'm going to do next Sunday.

  3. Oh, poor Ray! Like Jane I will admit to a sympathetic giggle or two, having on more than one occasion made a prize fool of myself in public. Thank goodness you don't have to launder your robes again. Enjoy the induction and I hope your new incumbent is wonderful.

  4. Time will tell Perpetua, time will tell.

  5. It's called making an entrance and you obviously did it style! Dignity is much over rated! At a licensing last year a poor lady fell in the aisle. The bishop simply stepped over her recumbent body...

  6. I suppose we must be grateful he didn't step on her.
    The licensing is this evening. The church will be full to bursting with all the great and the good of B uckinghamshire, what could possibly go wrong?:)

  7. It did Jean thankyou. A very long service but a powerful one and the music was good too.
    Our new incumbent is from Florida, so quite a steep learning curve for us all.
    That said, he seems a very nice, warm and intelligent young man with a young family so the prospects are good.

  8. Are you completely better now and did you do an encore Sunday gone?

  9. Yes to the first question and no to the second. I somehow managed to overcome my desire to show off.
    I hope it was a once only performance.

  10. Ah - many's the tale I could tell about robes/vestments and things going wrong. The worst was when I had obviously been sheltering a mouse, who got fed up and ran out from between my feet just as I was about to ordain someone as an Elder!

    Blessings from Dalamory

  11. But at least you were not lying flat on your back at the time. We have no mice as far as I know, but we do have bats, So, endless possibilities.