Thursday, 27 February 2014

February Blues.

February is my least favourite month.  Historically my most traumatic.  Meteorologically either very cold or very wet, and in any case grey.

Also, it is physically a month when all the winter's ills seem to have drained every bit of energy.

I try not to blog in February, aware that other people with real problems do not want to be pulled down further.

So I read other blogs. comment when appropriate and keep a low profile.

In the shower this morning, the sun blazing through the window I was aware that this was a very un-February-like day.  It is or rather was, also my wedding anniversary.

It would have been the forty-third.

Oddly, since John's death in 2009 I have never once remembered our wedding anniversary and have no idea what alerted me today to its significance.

Watching a great spotted woodpecker on the peanut feeder it occurred to me that all the little similar fleeting things  which have always given me huge pleasure, still do.  I still love watching birds, fussing neighbourhood cats, basking in brief shafts of sunlight.

As a moody introspective teenager when I complained to my mother that there never seemed to be any great blinding flash of happiness in my life.

She replied that such moments are very rare and do not constitute real happiness, adding that learning to find pleasure and joy in very small everyday things was the key to real happiness.

As always, she was right.

Seeking a picture to illustrate this post I found among my garden photos the lovely apricot bloom of "Just Joey", taken in a year when it flourished.  It too has dwindled to almost nothing, but has had its time of beauty and the picture was taken just then.

Life seems very flat at the moment, but I know it is just a grey patch and things will improve again soon.

Last Sunday our St Mary's choir sang "The heavens are telling" from Haydn's great "Creation".  We were not very well rehearsed and it is quite difficult, but made, I thought, quite a good job of it.

The feedback was generally good, with one lovely lady with whom I share the 'meeters and greeters' desk telling me she wanted very much to clap at the end, while inevitably, there was one person who 'hated' it, said it was too loud and too long.

One person's lovely day and another one's awful day.

Seems February is quite a mixed month.


15 comments:

  1. Yes - a mixed month for many, but at least there's only one more February day to go before March. Hope your spirits lift soon as the days get longer and more spring flowers appear.

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    1. That could well be all it will take. Though a little warmth (and dryth) would be a bonus too.

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  2. As Nancy said I hope your mood improves with the coming of March and longer days.

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    1. I'm relying on St David to do his stuff Susan.

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  3. Ray, if the heavenly choir came and sang at church, there'd always be one who found fault! Your mother was very wise when she told you that. I've never found happiness something I can just go out and find. it comes almost as a by-product of something else - like your watching the birds.

    I'd remembered you find February hard, but your absence has been noted and your posts missed. Welcome back.

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  4. Thanks for that Perpetua. Will attempt to introduce a more light-hearted vein soon.

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  5. I wish I could give you a hug. It's a bad month for me to. The sun will shine again xxxxxcc

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  6. Hugs to you too Jane. Of course it will get better soon, we both know that. X

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  7. Hooray Its March…..I'm glad to leave February behind too….

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  8. I 'm sure you are Jean. One day at a time, one month at a time. Each one taking you further away from the worst day. Each day offering a little glimmer of light.
    Blessings, love and prayers. X

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  9. It's amazing how many bloggers and writers have the same feelings about February - but there is something wonderful about March being here now.
    Blessings from Dalamory
    www.freda.org.uk

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  10. Perhaps just the hope of a fresh start Freda. If February is anyone's favourite month I have yet to meet them.
    Blessings to you also.

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  11. January and February are pretty grim. I am glad that March, and a bit of sunshine, have arrived at last. Hang in there and keep enjoying the little things!

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  12. Am trying to enjoy the little things Suem. Today was a good day - SPACE drop-in was well attended and followed by a really lovely lunch-time Eucharist. The weather however, after the really sunny and warm weekend has reverted here to grey and with cold winds.
    At least it is getting lighter morning and evening and that is a big help.
    Will attempt a lighter hearted post soon.

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