Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Seeking the sandman

To sleep, perchance to dream......

If only!

For the past two hours unable to sleep yet again, I have been reading (awful confession), my old blogs.

Right from the earliest up to date has been quite enlightening.

Sometimes (not often), I write a post and feel pleased with what I've said, and  even better, when it gets a good response feel that my self-congratulation is justified.

Reading them all in succession has given me a rather different impression and I can now see all too plainly just how many words have been used over a period of 3 years to say absolutely nothing.

Something my friend and fellow blogger The Vernacular Vicar has said from time to time, is writing for the sake of writing is not good practice.

He is right.

For every 'gem' I think I may have spotted among the almost 400 posts, there are at least 20 or more examples of 'verbal diarrhoea'.

While it has proved possible to spot the odd touch of cynical humour in some of the better written ones, there is a distinct lack of that ingredient in most of the more recent ones.

Thinking about it, has made me realise that lack of humour and of any lightness of touch appears to be a feature of posts written while under the cloud of depression, as also is the long gaps between posts.

Not sure that 2.30 am is the best time to be researching this but it has been quite enlightening to discover patterns among the posts.

While it is true that I never read my posts before publishing them, I've always thought I edited them as I wrote and that nothing I did not want to reveal would ever appear in a post.  This I now find is not quite true.
Rather more of my state of mind at the time of writing than i ever intended has been disclosed.

Not sure where I'm going with this, but I think what I'm trying to say is that at least my opinion that I write as a form of therapy is vindicated.

In a life which lacks close friends the blog is as good a way as any of relieving some of the tensions and sharing some of the pleasures of that life.

We all need some outlet for our angst, joys, pains and tribulations.  Blogging is mine.


10 comments:

  1. You know, Ray, I think about familial conversation or chat among friends, and a lot of it is not, frankly, memorable. In fact, much of it is almost nothing. Such is the stuff of relationships, be they in person or virtual. Just putting yourself out there is a way to be connected, in community. I'm glad you are part of my community!

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    1. Thanks Penny for your comments and for befriending me. I too am glad we are part of the same community.

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  2. I found your 2-30am post mesmerising - what you are saying is that we, your readers are getting the undiluted you. And that is a rare and special gift. To be able to write and to share the real self is something that many of us feel very self-conscious about. I would rather share the down days as well as the up days, in the knowledge that what we are seeing is the truth. I hope blogland is truly a place of friendship for you. Every Blessing from Freda at Dalamory www.freda.org.uk

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    1. Thank you so much Freda. I'm not sure that undiluted me is a potion worth drinking but it is good to know you are able to accept the 'warts and all' aspect of my blog posts.
      Yes, i do feel that some indeed most, of the cyber friends I've made here are real friends and it is a great feeling when there is a wide response to some of my more 'purple' prose.
      Blessings greatly appreciated.

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  3. It's mine too Ray, and I'm really pleased to have met you on here x.

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  4. Ray your posts are always worth reading and enjoyed by all of us in this small community....blogging as a way of coping is my way too! Right now I have a parallel one which I'm not publishing but it helps a lot with what's going on in my life.....Reading yours and other peoples is always a treat....,thank you!

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  5. Thanks Jean. I'm not sure I believe that "a trouble shared is a trouble halved", but I do think there is some merit in getting problems out into the light and hearing other people's views of them.
    In this day and age when counselling is offered for every conceivable problem, it is I think, useful to have a wider audience rather than just the one-to-one approach.
    Often we are not really looking for a solution, just a coping mechanism.
    I love your blog and your occasionally slantwise way of looking at life, it chimes well with mine.
    BlessingsX

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  6. Ray, I think the great majority of the words any of us say or write say nothing very much at all, but they do serve to link us to others. I think we all reveal more about ourselves all the time than we may sometimes believe or wish, but that's the stuff of human relationships The relationship between blogger and readers is very real and to me precious, which is why I so enjoy your blog and the others I read.

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  7. On reflection I think you are right Perpetua. Reading properly and paying attention to the way we use words on our blogs it is quite surprising how much we reveal unintentionally.
    Yours is one of the half-dozen or so blogs which I thoroughly enjoy reading and it is not always the content as much as the person I relate to.

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