Thursday, 8 November 2012
Of course, I've changed as life has introduced some of its nastier hurdles and while even now I do not weep at the drop of a hat, at long last I recognize the need to cry as an important part of human development.
There is a point in grief when the overwhelming need to cry takes over from habit or training, and while it doesn't always make the sufferer feel better, had they not given way to the impulse it would undoubtedly have made them feel much much worse.
I don't subscribe to the view that crying over every upset is a good and useful way of relieving stress, and yes, I do still rather despise those who leave a wet trail every day of their lives, but that is not to say that a
'good cry' can't sometimes be therapeutic, and once over and done with a sort of balance can be achieved.
Mass weeping and wailing (the death of Princess Diana, for example), leaves me cold and yes, slightly contemptuous. This is not because I feel nothing, but simply because the sort of hysterical wailing which accompanies such events seems to me totally inappropriate .
Real grief for someone we knew and loved can produce vast vats of tears over which we have no control,
and it's probably just as well we haven't since that is a real need to cry.
There are tears of regret, sympathy, and the nervous reaction type tears, all of which are produced for a good reason and not as it were, by rote.
I think what I'm trying to say is it's the "Oh this is sad I must cry" or the "I need to show how sensitive I am" type of - not crocodile, more alligator tears - that I have no time for.
This morning on the breakfast TV show we were treated to the sight of Rod Stewart weeping at a football match, not because his team had been defeated, but because they had won.
The cameras went repeatedly to this 'touching' scene and we were all invited vicariously to share his emotion.
Have we come just a tad too far from the 'stiff upper lip' days, or is it just me?
Posted by Ray Barnes at 11:59:00 am